Self Protection of the Prophet

The Reflection of You

The Reflection of You

Author: Ustadz Abu Ahmad Said Yai, Lc.

It is easy to know what is the reflection of yourself looks like; simply by looking at whom are the persons that you befriend with. The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said:

(الْمُؤْمِنُ مِرْآةُ (أخيه) الْمُؤْمِنِ)

“A believer is like a mirror for his brother.” [1]

If a person usually gathers with a man whose hobby is gambling, then he is just like him, more or less. And vice versa, if he usually gathers with a man who is diligent in performing the congregational prayer, then more or less, he resembles him.

Allah the Glorified and Exalted had created spirit and its certain characteristics. Among the characteristics of the spirit is that it refuses to join other than its kind. The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said:

(الأَرْوَاحُ جُنُودٌ مُجَنَّدَةٌ فَمَا تَعَارَفَ مِنْهَا ائْتَلَفَ وَمَا تَنَاكَرَ مِنْهَا اخْتَلَفَ)

“The spirits are like a gathering troop. Therefore, if they know each other, they will unite, and if they don’t, they will differ (separate).” [2]

Choosing a good friend is something that couldn’t be considered as trivial thing. Thus, Islam taught us not to make a wrong choice in it. The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said:

(الرَّجُلُ عَلَى دِينِ خَلِيلِهِ فَلْيَنْظُرْ أَحَدُكُمْ مَنْ يُخَالِلُ)

“A man depends on the religion of his best friend. Therefore, you should pay attention on whom you befriend with.” [3]

Undoubtedly, a friend has a major impact on his friend. A friend could influence a man’s religion, view of life, habit, and characters.

Sheikh ‘Abdulmuhsin Al Qaasim [4] said, “The characteristic of human is that he is swiftly affected by whom he mingles (interacts) with. Human even could be influenced by a cattle.

The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said, :

(الْفَخْرُ وَالْخُيَلَاءُ فِي الْفَدَّادِينَ أَهْلِ الْوَبَرِ وَالسَّكِينَةُ فِي أَهْلِ الْغَنَمِ)

“Arrogance and vanity are with the ones who raise their voices among the camel herders. And serenity is with the goat herders.” [5]

The Prophet -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- told that in the camel grazing there were pride and arrogance and in the goat grazing there was serenity. If a man could be influenced by animal which doesn’t have intelligence, and which he don’t understand the meaning of its voices, then what do you think of human being that could speak to you, understood your sayings, and even sometimes lied to you and persuaded you to follow his lust and talked sweet about it? Doesn’t he have a greater influence?” [6]

After recognizing the urgency of choosing a decent friend, I’d like to advice myself and you, honorable readers, to choose friends that have praiseworthy traits, among which are:

Having a correct and straight creed

It is an ultimate requirement in choosing a friend. He has to be a muslim and follow the creed of the ahl sunnah wal jama’a. Don’t we all know about the story of the death of Abu Thalib, uncle of the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him-?

When he was lying and about to die, in his side was the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- and Abu Jahl and Abdullah Ibn Abi Umayya. The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said, “O uncle of mine! Say, “Laa ilaaha illallaah”! A sentence, by which I can be testify for you in front of Allah.” Then the other two said, “O Abu Thalib! Do you hate the religion of Abdul Muththalib?”

The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- kept on “offering” the sentence to him and so were the other two with their own words. Until finally, he refused to recite the sentence “Laa ilaaha illallaah” and chose to stay on the religion of Abdul-Muththalib.[7]

Look how terrible the influence of people around him! Whereas in his heart, Abu Thalib had had already justified the teaching of the Messenger of Allah – peace and prayer of Allah be upon him-.

2. Having a Correct Way of life

It is a second, must-have characteristic. Therefore, Islam prohibited us to befriend the innovators in religion and people of lusts. Ibn ‘Abbas – may Allah be pleased with him- said, “Do not sit together with the people of lusts! Verily, sitting together with them will create a disease in hearts (that is, the innovation).” [8]

How could an ahl sunnah join the the innovators and people of lusts in unity? There is no unity among them but a false unity.

3. Being devoted in worship and away from immoral acts

Allah the Glorified and Exalted decreed,

{وَاصْبِرْ نَفْسَكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ رَبَّهُمْ بِالْغَدَاةِ وَالْعَشِيِّ يُرِيدُونَ وَجْهَهُ}

Keep yourself content with those who call upon their Lord, morning and evening, seeking His pleasure (Al Kahf/The Cave:28)

Ibn Katsir explained about this verse in his book of tafseer, saying, “Sit with people who remember Allah, who recite the tahleel (Laa ilaaha illallaah), praise Him, recite the tasbeeh (Subhaanallaah), recite the takbeer (Allahu Akbar) and pray to Him in the morning and evening, among the slaves of Allah, whether they are among the poor of the rich, the strong or the weak.”

4. Having a good manner and words

The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said,

(أَكْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا)

“The most perfect muslim in faith is the best muslim in character.” [9]

Al Ahnaf Ibn Qais said, “In the past, we always followed Qais Ibn ‘Ashim. We learned from him patience and generosity as we learned the jurisprudence.” [10]
5. Like to Give advices in goodness

A good friend surely will not be pleased if his friend is plunged into committing sin. If you have a friend who never reprimand you when you did a mistake, then it is worth to question, whether he is a true friend of yours or not?

One of the characteristic of people of no loss is as explained by Allah in chapter Al ‘Ashr. That is, giving advices to each other in goodness and patience.

The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said:

(لاَ يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ)

“The faith of one of you will not be perfect until he loves for his brother, what he loves for himself.” [11]

6. Being ascetic of the world and far from pursuing position

A decent friend certainly will not busy his brother with worldly things, such as talking about the models of handphones, luxurious cars, etc.

The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said, “Be ascetic of the world, then Allah will love you. And be ascetic of what belongs to human, then they’ll love you.” [12]

7. Having a lot of knowledges, or willing to share his knowledge

Unmistakably, befriending people who have and practice religious knowledges will give great influence to us.

8. Wearing clothes as directed in Islam

A decent friend will always pay attention to his clothes, from the aspects of its suitability with Islamic teaching, its cleanliness, and its tidiness. Sheikh Bakr Abu Zayd wrote in his book “Hilyah..”, “The outer adornment shows the tendency of heart. People will classify you based by looking at your clothes.. So wear the garments that adorn you and not humiliate you, and not cost you a disgrace that will talked by others or a cause of mockery by the mockers.” [13]

9. Always Maintaining His self-image and honor from everything that inappropriate according to the society

A decent friend will always prevent himself from doing any of the socially inappropriate act, although some of it might be allowed in shari’a. If, for example, in a region, playing billiard is something considered as disgraceful, then a person shouldn’t befriend people who are fond of playing it.

What a beautiful saying by Imam Ash Shafi’i below:

لَوْ أَنَّ اْلمَاءَ اْلبَارِدَ يَثْلَمُ مِنْ مُرُوْءَتِيْ شَيْئًا مَا شَرِبْتُ اْلمَاءَ إلَّا حَارًّا

“Supposed that the cold water ruins something from my honor, I’ll never drink except the hot water.” [14]

10. Having Less of Joking and Abandoning the un-useful things

The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said:

(مِنْ حُسْنِ إِسْلَامِ الْمَرْءِ تَرْكُهُ مَا لَا يَعْنِيهِ)

“Among the signs of the quality of a person in Islam is leaving the un-useful things for him.” [15]

It might look tough, indeed, to get a friend with characteristics above. But by Allah’s permission, Glorified and Exalted be He, then with a great effort and pray to Allah, we’ll find them.

The islamic environment is something that really helps us to find them. Moreover, in the environment of Islamic schools, there are a lot of righteous men that are good to befriend with.

Something that we’ll need to note here that, it doesn’t mean that we do not interact with people around us, such as the infidels, the innovators, the wicked men, and so on. Even we should continue to enjoin them to do good.

We should look at the benefit and danger that will befall us and people around us when we interact with them. If our interaction with them brings great benefits for them, then we should do it. Vice versa, if if doesn’t bring them any good, but harms us instead, then we shouldn’t interact with them.

Sheikh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said, “If in interaction with the wicked there’s a causal of enlightenment for him, then it is alright to befriend them. Invite him to your house, you come to his house, or you walk around with him, with a requirement that it doesn’t taint your honor in front of society. How many of the wicked that get enlightenment due to befriending the decent men.” [16]

In our society, if you don’t pick a decent friend, then choose! Is that you who’ll influence others to be better, or you’ll be the one that is influenced to be worse? Remember, there’s no third choice here!

May it be useful for us all. Amin.

Footnotes:

[1] Narrated by Al-Bukhaari in “Al-Adabul-Mufrad” no. 239 and Abu Daud no. 4918, classified as good hadith by Sheikh Al Albani in his work ” Ash-Shahiihah” no. 926

[2] Narrated by Al-Bukhari no. 3336 and Muslim no. 6708

[3] Narrated by Abu Daud no. 4833 and At Tirmidhi no. 2378, classified as valid hadith by Sheikh Al Albani in “Ash-Shahiihah” no. 927

[4] He is an imam in Masjid Nabawi (Mosque of the Prophet) and a judge in Shari’a Court in Medina.

[5] Narrated by Al-Bukhaari no. 3499 and Muslim no. 187

[6] Refer to: “Khuthuwaat ila As-Sa’aadah” page. 141

[7] Narrated by Al-Bukhaari no.1360, Muslim no. 131 and An Nisa’i no.2034

[8] Refer to: “Asy-Syarii’ah” by Al Ajurry, page 61 and ” Al-Ibanah Al-kubra” by Ibn Baththah, book 2 page 438, cited from “Mauqif Ahlissunnah wal-jamaah min ahlil-hawa’ wallbida’” by our Sheikh Ibrahim Ar-Ruhaily book 2 page 535

[9] Narrated by Abu Daud no. 4682 and At Tirmidhi no.1163, classified as good and/or valid by Sheikh Al Albani in “Ash-Shahiihah” no. 284

[10] Refer to: “Al-’Afwu wa Al-A’dzar” by Ibn Ar-Raqqam, cited from “Su’ulkhuluq” by Muhammad Ibrahim Al-Hamd page 134

[11] Narrated by Al-Bukhaari no. 13, Muslim no. 40 , An Nisa’i no.5031, At Tirmidhi no.2515 and Ibn Maja no. 66

[12] Narrated by Ibn Maja no. 4102, classified as valid hadith by Sheikh Al Albani in “Ash-Shahiihah” no.944

[13] Refer to: “At-Ta’liq Ats-Tsamin” by Sheikh Al-Utsaimin page 107

[14] Refer to “Manaaqib Asy-Syaafi’i” by Ar Raazy page 85, cited from “Ma’aalim fi thariiq thalabil’ilm” page 166

[15] Narrated by At Tirmidhi no. 2317 and Ibn Maja no. 3976, classed valid by Sheikh Al-Albani in “takhrij Ath-Thahawiyyah” page 276

[16] Refer to “At-Ta’liqutstsamin ‘ala syarhi ibnu Al’Utsaimin lihilyati thalabil’ilmi” page 24

Article of www.Whatisquran.com

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