The Motherly Love
Reminiscing the lullaby that our mother once sang to us, reminding us of her sacrifices in raising us; during the pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding years, until we reached our adulthood. Her love could still be felt until now.
Years has passed, and more people are forgetting their mothers, forgetting their efforts, whereas their sins to their mother are uncountable anymore. But as mothers, they are still patient, resilient, and keep praying for the sake of their children.
What a tragic scene to see and to hear, when a child spoke harshly to his mother, scolded her, even humiliated and hit her. Is this the way he return all the goodnesses of his mother?
Allah the Exalted decreed,
فلاتقل لهما اف
Which means: “do not say to them even “fie”” (QS Al-Isra’ /The Night Journey:23)
The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said,
الجنة تحت اقدام الامهات
Which means: “The heaven is under the soles of a mother.” Unfortunately, this hadith is considered as a very weak one [1]. If it is interpreted as being devoted to mother could help someone to enter the Paradise, then this hadith actually has a lot of supporting indications. The Messenger of Allah said, :
رغم انف ثم رغم انف ثم رغم انف من ادرك ابويه عند الكبر احدهما او كلاهما فلم يدخل الجنة
“What a great loss, if a person who lived with his elderly parents, one or both of them, but (by that chance) he wasn’t able to enter the Paradise.” (Narrated by Muslim).
‘Irafa Ibn Iyas said, “I saw Al Harits Al Akali crying near the grave of his mother, then he was asked, “Are you crying?”. He replied, “How come I wont, when a door of the doors of Paradise has been shut from me.” [2]
Which one is better, Jihad, or Devoting to Parents?
‘Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud said, “I asked the Messenger of Allah, ‘Which deed that is dearest to Allah?’ He answered, “Performing prayer at its time.” Then I said, “What else?”. He answered, “Devoting to both parents.” Then I said again, “What else?” He answered, “Jihad in Allah’s Cause.” (Muttafaqun ‘alaih)
Allah loves one being devoted to his parents more than a person who went to do jihad in His Cause, whereas his parents needed him. It was also confirmed by the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- when he rejected one of his companions to join the army because he didn’t his parents’ permission, and the Messenger of Allah ordered him to go back to help his parents, because in devoting to them, there was also a kind of jihad. Likewise is the what narrated from ‘Umar and other companions.
What’s with the love to a mother?
Love to a mother is prioritized higher than to a father. Imam Ahmad said, “For a mother, there is third four of shares in goodness.” [3]. That is because mother is the most loving to her offspring, and the one who sacrificed her time the most for him than the father.
Most of the disobedience to parents happened to the mother. Mother is a woman, who is physically and emotionally weaker than man. Thus, when a child reached maturity and he felt that he was old enough, he could turn against his mother, whether with his wicked tongue or his bodily strength.
The author of this article once visited a village. In that village, it seemed like it was a custom for a boy to speak harshly to his mother, rebut and disobey her. But in contrast, he could speak politely, obey, and behave nicely in front of his father. Which mother who doesn’t hurt being treated as such?
Al-jaza’u min jinsil’amal (The reward is equal to the deed), is one of the important principle of our religion. If a child disobeyed his parents, then he must prepare himself to be disobeyed by his own children. Sheikh Ibn Uthaymeen said, “There are many real stories among men, which proved that whoever obeyed his parents, his children will treat him similarly. Likewise is the disobedience. A person who disobeyed his parents, will be disobeyed by his children.” [4] Would we like our children to disobey us?
Starting from now on, let’s count how many mistakes that we’ve done to our parents, particularly our mothers. Be it through our deeds, words, or even our mockeries inside of our hearts.
Obeying our parents is a form of obeying Allah the Exalted. And we’re supposed to please, and not hurt them.
Muhammad Ibn Al Munkadir said, “Once, I’ve ever massaged my mother’s foot while my uncle spent his night praying. But his night was not as nice as mine (with my mother, -ed).” [5]
Adz Dzahabi told a story about Ibn ‘Aun, “One day, his mother called him, and he answered her call. But his voice was louder than his mother’s, thus he freed two of his slaves.” [6]
I (the author, ed) was impressed, after I heard a story from a friend (who taught in TPA, an afternoon religious school for children) when he preached about the compulsoriness of obeying the parents in front of the children of TPA in a village. After the session was over, the children went back to their houses and they immediately shook their parents’ hands and asked for their forgiveness. They are still kids, who has not been burdened with obligations in shari’a, then what about us?
Thus, lest the milk be rewarded with vile water. We seek protection from Allah from doing that evil deed.
“O Allah, please forgive me, and both my parents, and have mercy on them, as they had nurtured me when I was a child.”
Author: Ustadz Abu Ahmad Said Yai, Lc. MA
References:
[1] “Musnad Asy-Syihab” :119, but there was Manshur bin Al-Muhajir and Abu An-Nadhar al-Abar among its narrators, and both were unknown. Refer to: “Biirrulwallidain li Ath-Tharthusyi”, examined by Muhammad Ibn Al-Hakam Al-Qadhi page. 70
[2] “Birrulwalidain li Ibnu Aljauzi” page. 78
[3] “Jami’uladab li Ibnu Al-Qayyim Al-Jauziyyah” book IV page. 179
[4] “Makarimulakhlak” page. 41
[5] “Al-adab asy-syar’I li Ibnu Muflih Al-Maqdisy” book II page 83
[6] “Siyar A’lam An-Nubala’” book VI page. 366 and “Aina nahnu min akhlaqissalaf” page 107