How to Make Our Children to be Muslims with Achievements
Every parent would surely be glad if his or her children have great achievement in this world. This is just natural for human being, as what ‘Umar -may Allah be pleased with him- ever said to his son, ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar -may Allah be pleased with them both-, when the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- asked his companions:
((إِنَّ مِنَ الشَّجَرِ شَجَرَةً لاَ يَسْقُطُ وَرَقُهَا, وَهِيَ مَثَلُ الْمُسْلِمِ, حَدِّثُونِي مَا هِيَ؟)) فَوَقَعَ النَّاسُ فِي شَجَرِ الْبَادِيَةِ, وَوَقَعَ فِي نَفْسِي أَنَّهَا النَّخْلَةُ. قَالَ عَبْدُ اللهِ: فَاسْتَحْيَيْتُ. فَقَالُوا: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ أَخْبِرْنَا بِهَا، فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ -صلى الله عليه وسلم- ((هِيَ النَّخْلَةُ)). قَالَ عَبْدُ اللهِ: فَحَدَّثْتُ أَبِي بِمَا وَقَعَ فِي نَفْسِي. فَقَالَ: لأَنْ تَكُونَ قُلْتَهَا أَحَبُّ إِلَيَّ مِنْ أَنْ يَكُونَ لِي كَذَا وَكَذَا.
“Indeed, among the trees, there is one which leaves never fall, and it resembles a muslim. Tell me which tree is that?” (Ibn Umar said), “Then people thought the tree to be a kind that grew somewhere at the remote areas. Whereas I thought that it was the date-palm tree. But I was shy (to speak it out, -ed). Then the companions said, “O Messenger of Allah! Please tell me, which tree is that?” Then the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said, “It is the date-palm tree.” Then I told my father about what did I think to myself.
He said, “If you told us then, I’d prefer that than having so and so.” [1]
‘Umar -may Allah be pleased with him- was glad if his son has an achievements above people around him.
How to make our children to be a child with great achievement?
Every child must be taught to have a life motto. And With that motto, he could face any kind of obstacles and trials in this life. When the public figures were asked, “What is your life motto?”. We would get various answers to it. Some would say that their life motto was, “Waiting for the success is a stupid, futile act.”, or “It is the lack of faith that scare people to face the obstacle.”, or “Failure is only happened when we give up,” “Everything that is beautiful is not necessarily good, but everything that is good is certainly beautiful, ‘, and so on.
But as a faithful believers, we should have the noblest of the life motto, that is, “I shall live under the guidance of the Qur’an and the sunnah, ” or the like. Because only by the guidance of Allah and His messenger, that a muslim will be able to find happiness in this world and in the Hereafter.
The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- once said,
((خَلَّفْتُ فِيكُمْ شَيْئَيْنِ لَنْ تَضِلُّوا بَعْدَهُمَا كِتَابَ اللهِ وَسُنَّتِي وَلَنْ يَتَفَرَّقَا حَتَّى يَرِدَا عَلَيَّ الْحَوْضِ.))
“”I leave for you behind me two things, by which you’ll never be astray if you hold form to it, The Book of Allah and my sunnah. Both will never separate until they meet me at the lake.” [2]
Then what is the parameter to determine that a child is a great achiever?
Choosing a parameter or a standard by which a person is said to be a great achiever is very important. We shouldn’t assume that someone who has done extraordinary but harmful thing to others to be the high achiever. Or doing something that is out of humanly strength but by the help of unlawful things in shari’a.
If so, then what is the parameter?
Is it by the amount of wealth? Or by the high position in offices? Well, the answer is, in fact, no.
I believe we all agree that the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- was the highest achiever of all muslims. But was he -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- use it as the parameter of achievement?
When the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- enjoined people in Mecca to embrace Islam, one of the leaders of Quraish named ‘Utbah Ibn Rabi’ah came to him to prevent him from enjoining people to Islam. ‘Utbah said:
(يَا ابْنَ أَخِيْ إِنْ كُنْتَ إِنَّمَا تُرِيْدُ بِمَا جِئْتَ بِه مِنْ هَذَا اْلأَمْرِ مَالًا جَمَعْنَا لَكَ مِنْ أَمْوَالِنَا حَتَّى تَكُوْنَ أَكْثَرَنَا مَالاً وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تُرِيْدُ بِه شَرَفًا سَوَّدْنَاكَ عَلَيْنَا حَتَّى لَا نَقْطَعَ أَمْرًا دُوْنَكَ وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تُرِيْدُ بِه مُلْكًا مَلَّكْنَاكَ عَلَيْنَا.)
“O son of my brother! If you want to obtain wealth with what you bring, then we’ll gather our wealths for you, until you have the largest wealth among us. If you want position, then we’ll make you our master, thus we wont be able to decide anything without your consent. If you want a kingdom, then we’ll make you our king.” [3]
Did the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- accept the offers? No, he didn’t. It is because he -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- understood that those weren’t his goals in life.
At the end of his life, the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- didn’t leave any inheritance behind. Because indeed the prophets did not bequeath dinars and dirhams, but only pass down the science.
Is it by the number of wives and children?
The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- didn’t have many children. As for the many number of his wives, that was an exclusivity for him and not for others beside him. The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- didn’t marry them due to his lust; as the proof, the only one of his wife that was still a virgin when he married her was ‘Aisha, as for the rest, they were all widows. Several of them were married because Allah forced him to, and several of them were married due to the many benefits that lie within those marriages.
Well, it is clear to us that the number of wives and children is not the standard or parameter of achievement.
Then what is the parameter?
The right parameter must be based on the Qur’an and the sunnah.
– The person must have the highest level of piety and obedience to Allah, and have a noble position in the Hereafter.
Allah the Glorified and Exalted declared:
{وَمَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُولَئِكَ رَفِيقًا}
“He who obeys Allah and the Messenger – such shall be with those whom Allah has favoured – the Prophets, those steadfast in truthfulness, the martyrs, and the righteous. How excellent will they be for companions!”(QS. An-Nisâ/The Women : 69)
Allah the Glorified and Exalted decreed,
{إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ}
“Verily the noblest of you in the sight of Allah is the most God-fearing of you. ” (QS. Al-Hujurât/The Rooms: 13)
A child with great achievement is a child who in the Hereafter possesses a high position in Paradise, because of his closeness with Allah and His messenger. Therefore, parents should attempt to make their children to be an obeying child who’s diligent in worship.
We all know that obedience and piety to Allah contains orders that must be done and prohibitions that must be avoided. And since the order and prohibition in religion are indeed plenty, to know all of it, we must study the religious sciences. Therefore, we should teach our children the religious sciences thus it can serve as a guidance for him to obey Allah in every condition.
– The person should have the best relationship with other human being
Beside having a good relationship with Allah, a high achieving child should have a great relationship with human being and all creatures around him, that is by having a noble character.
Thus, the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said,
(إِنَّ أَكْمَلَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا، وَأَلْطَفُهُمْ بِأَهْلِهِ.)
“Truly the most perfect of believers in faith is the one with the best character and most gentle to his wife.” [4]
A person with noble character will surely liked by others. The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said,
(خَيْرُكُمْ مَنْ يُرْجَى خَيْرُهُ وَيُؤْمَنُ شَرُّهُ وَشَرُّكُمْ مَنْ لاَ يُرْجَى خَيْرُهُ وَلاَ يُؤْمَنُ شَرُّهُ.)
“The best of you is the one who is expected for his kindness and people feel safe from his harm. And the worst of you is the one whose kindness is not expected, and people do not feel safe from his harm.” [5]
A person with noble character will always do good in all his affairs, including in interaction that is related to wealth, such as selling and purchasing, debt and credit, etc. The Messenger of Allah – peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said,
(فَإِنَّ مِنْ خَيْرِكُمْ أَحْسَنَكُمْ قَضَاءً.)
“Verily, the best of you is the best in his payment of debt.” [6]
– The person should have great benefits for human being
Beside having a good relationship with Allah, His messenger, and people around him, a high achieving child should give great benefits to others.
The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- said,
(أَحَبُّ النَّاسِ إِلَى اللَّهِ أَنْفَعَهُمْ لِلنَّاسِ.)
“The most beloved of human to Allah is the most beneficial to human being.” [7]
Giving benefits to others could be done through various ways, for example:
- A person with excess of wealth, could donate some of his wealth to various projects, such as the construction of mosques and religious schools, construction of streets, provision of artesian wells for dry areas, distribution of mushaf (The Qur’an) and its translation to people who haven’t posses it, supporting of the da’wa activities, as well as calling people to do good and prohibiting them from doing evil, etc.
- A person with ability to manage things, could use it to gather people around him and together with them, plan, execute, and evaluate beneficial activities for the sake of Islam and many people.
- The scientists could initiate various experiments to create innovation that will yield great benefits to many people.
- A person with intelligence in memorizing and understanding religious sciences could use what he possesses to enjoin people, teach them goodness and the religious sciences, etc.
By these three things; the obedience and piety, noble character, and beneficial to others, achievement of a muslim could be measured. The more he could practice them, the higher his achievement in this world will be. Therefore, parents should pay great attention to these things during the educational process of their children.
In fact, the three things could easily possessed by a child if he or she has a role models around him or her, whether the parents, neighbors, other family members and society where he or she lives. And unfortunately, in this era, the muslims are in severe exemplary crisis due to their weak motivation to learn and practice this noble religion, moreover to enjoin people to the real Islam.
Hopefully, this article could benefit us and Allah help us to improve ourselves and educate our beloved children. Amin.
Author: Ustadz Said Yai Ardiansyah, Lc., M.A.
References:
“Al-Jâmi’ fi Ahkâm wa Âdâb Ash-Shibyan”. by Abu ‘Abdillah ‘Âdil Ibn Abdillâh Âlu Hamdân Al-Ghâmidi. Makkah, publisher: Maktabah Al-Asadi.
“Manhaj At-Tarbiyah An-Nabawiyah liththifl”. by Muhammad Nûr Ibn ‘Abdil-Hafîdzh Suwaid. Makkah: published by Dâru thaibah Al-Khadhrâ’.
“Tarbiyatul-Aulâd fil-Islâm”. by ‘Abdullâh Nâshih ‘Alawân. Kairo: Darussalâm.
And other references as included in the footnotes.
Footnotes:
[1] Narrated by Al-Bukhâri no. 131 and Muslim no. 2811/7099.
[2] Narrated by Ad-Dâruquthni no. 4606. Classed valid by Sheikh Al-Albani in “Shahîh Al-Jâmi’ Ash-Shaghîr” no. 3232.
[3] “As-Sîrah An-Nabawiyah lIbnu Hisyâm” II/131.
[4] Narrated by At-Tirmidhi no. 2612. Classed valid by Sheikh Al-Albâni in “Ash-Shahîhah” no. 1590.
[5] Narrated by At-Tirmidhi no. 2263. Classed valid by Sheikh Al-Albâni in “Shahîh Sunan At-Tirmidzi”.
[6] Narrated by Al-Bukhâri no. 2306.
[7] Narrated by Ibn Abi Ad-Dunya in “Qadha’ Al-Hawaij” no. 36, Ath-Thabrani in “Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabir” no. 13646. It has a supporting hadith from the narration of Jabir Ibn ‘Abdillah.