mourning for the Non-muslim

What is the ruling of mourning for the Non-muslim?

What is the ruling of mourning for the Non-muslim?

Question:

Assalamu’alaikum. May Allah bless you, O Ustadz.

I’d like you to give me an explanation upon how do we suppose to deal with our christian/disbeliever neighbor, for example when:

– They died. Are we allowed to visit them to mourn for them (takziya), and if we are allowed, what should we say to them?

– They invited us to attend the wedding of their family, are we allowed to attend it?

– They gave birth to a child, are we allowed to congratulate them?

May Allah reward you with plenty of goodnesses.

From: (Abu Panji)

Answer:

Wa’alaikumsalam. And may Allah bless you too.

Islam doesn’t forbid its followers to be kind and treat the disbelievers with good attitude as long as they do not fight against us, and do not extrude us from our land.

Allah the Exalted decreed:

لَا يَنْهَاكُمُ اللَّهُ عَنِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَاتِلُوكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ وَلَمْ يُخْرِجُوكُم مِّن دِيَارِكُمْ أَن تَبَرُّوهُمْ وَتُقْسِطُوا إِلَيْهِمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُقْسِطِينَ.الممتحنة:8

“Allah does not forbid that you be kind and just to those who did not fight against you on account of religion, nor drove you out of your homes. Surely Allah loves those who are equitable. ” (Qs. 60:8)

Sheikh Abdurrahman As Sa’dy said:

لا ينهاكم الله عن البر والصلة، والمكافأة بالمعروف، والقسط للمشركين، من أقاربكم وغيرهم، حيث كانوا بحال لم ينتصبوا لقتالكم في الدين والإخراج من دياركم، فليس عليكم جناح أن تصلوهم، فإن صلتهم في هذه الحالة، لا محذور فيها ولا مفسدة

“Allah doesn’t forbid you to be kind, maintain the kinship, return other’s kindness, be fair to the polytheists from among your family and others, as long as they don’t fight against you due to your religion and as long as they don’t extrude you from your land, then it is alright for you to have a relationship with them because there is no prohibition nor harm to have a relationship with them in such condition.” (See: Tafseer As-Sa’dy page 856-857)

But there are several rules to consider regarding our social interaction with the disbelievers. Among those rules is that we are not allowed to sacrifice our religion to seek for their pleases.

Sheikh Sulayman Ar Ruhaily, in some of his discourses, mentioned that to maintain the balance so that our good deeds doesn’t end in being loyal to them, every time we do good to them (the disbelievers), we should keep in our mind that they are disbelievers, infidels, the enemies of Allah the Exalted, who, if one day they are able to overpower us, will try to destroy us. (As recorded in cassette titled, “Al-Wala wal Bara”, which he taught at the Quba mosque, Medina).

Firstly:

The scholars held different opinions regarding the ruling of a muslim mourning for the non muslim; some of them allowed it in absolute, while some of them forbade it. And the stronger opinion is, and Allah knows best, that mourning for the people of Scripture is allowed with stipulations, amongst which are:

– They (the disbelievers) do not consider that our mourning is a tribute to them (See: Fatwas of Sheikh Muhammad Al Uthaymeen, 2/304).

– There is a benefit in it, such as hoping for their family to embrace Islam, or to avoid their disturbance to ourself or to the muslims (Fatwas of Lajnah Ad Daimah, 9/132)

– The mourner do not join them in their religious ceremony or listen to their sermon, because Allah decreed:

وَإِذَا رَأَيْتَ الَّذِينَ يَخُوضُونَ فِي آيَاتِنَا فَأَعْرِضْ عَنْهُمْ حَتَّى يَخُوضُوا فِي حَدِيثٍ غَيْرِهِ وَإِمَّا يُنْسِيَنَّكَ الشَّيْطَانُ فَلا تَقْعُدْ بَعْدَ الذِّكْرَى مَعَ الْقَوْمِ الظَّالِمِينَ.الأنعام:68

“When you see those who are engaged in blasphemy against Our Signs, turn away from them until they begin to talk of other things; and should Satan ever cause you to forget, then do not remain, after recollection, in the company of those wrong-doing people.” (Qs. 6:68)

There is no particular indication about what should we say when we mourn for the disbelievers; the important thing is that it doesn’t transgress the prohibition in shari’a, such as praying for Allah’s mercy and forgiven for the disbeliever.

Allah declared,

مَا كَانَ لِلنَّبِيِّ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَنْ يَسْتَغْفِرُوا لِلْمُشْرِكِينَ وَلَوْ كَانُوا أُولِي قُرْبَى مِنْ بَعْدِ مَا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُمْ أَنَّهُمْ أَصْحَابُ الْجَحِيمِ.التوبة:113

“After it has become clear that they are condemned to the Flaming Fire, it is not for the Prophet and those who believe to ask for the forgiveness of those who associate others with Allah in His Divinity even if they be near of kin.” (Qs. 9:113)

Some of the scholars stated that among the prayer that we could recite when we mourn for the disbelievers is:

أخلف الله عليك ولا نقص عددك

“May Allah replace him for you and do not reduce your number (that is, so that the amount of their tax/jizya is still plenty).” (Refer to: “Al-Majmu’”, by Imam An-Nawawy 5/275, and “Al-Mughny”, by Ibn Qudama 2/487)

Secondly:

We are allowed to attend the feast invitation from disbelievers as long as it is done to attract them to Islam. But if it is feared that we are the one that is influenced by them, or later we’ll feel that we owe them some services, then we are not allowed to attend it.

The Messenger of Allah ever accepted an invitation of a jew, as mentioned in a hadith from Anas:

عن أنس : أن يهوديا دعا رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم إلى خبز شعير وأهالة سنخة فأجابه

“From Anas, that a jew invited the Prophet -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- to eat bread and ahalah (a kind of side dish) which smell has changed, and he accepted that invitation.” (Narrated by Ahmad 3/270. Sheikh Shuhaib Al Arnauth said, the narration is valid according to the stipulation of Muslim).

As for the wedding invitation, some of the scholars viewed that it is not allowed to attend it, because their wedding will not be free from unlawful affairs, such as free mixing between men and women, music, alcoholic beverages, unlawful foods (such as pork, dog meat, etc).

Thirdly:

Congratulate them on occasions which are not the characteristic of their religion (such as wedding, childbirth, arrival) is allowed, but we have to avoid any utterances that indicate our pleasure over their religion, such as: may Allah make you happy with your religion, etc.

Among the permitted utterance is: May Allah ennoble you with (embracing) Islam. (See:   “Ahkamu Ahli Adz-Dzimmah”, by Ibn al Qayyim 3/441)

And Allah knows best.

Author: Ustadz Abdullah Roy, Lc.

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